Eve Online New Eden's new Silk Road

The search functionality is unusable since it just spams some dumb popup, which has intentionally been coded to be cancer to manually block with the adblocker.

Unfortunately, due to zkill being designed around using this search functionality for literally everything, this makes the site effectively unusable.

Wtf /u/squizz ?

EDIT: Confirmed not bug. From zkill code: https://i.imgur.com/3EJBztb.png

GAWT DANGIT BOBBEH

submitted by /u/Lords_Servant
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Stalwart Defense

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 11:10 AM PDT

submitted by /u/LorrMaster
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The War Unfolds

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 02:54 PM PDT

"Good fight dinos! We formed 100 caps and 200 Muninns to show those goon pubbies that they can't reinforce our Gmagic jump bridge. They are so afraid of taking a fair fight that their fifty man jackdaw fleet ran off as soon as we landed. Another win for the blue donut collective! I'm proud of…" The FCs words were lost as the gentle hum of our D-P keepstar tether pulled me safely to dock. Normally, my mind would be a filled with delusions of grandeur. We were winning the war, and kicking the filthy bees right where it hurt. And yet, I still felt so empty inside, something wasn't right. Shouldn't we be getting kills if we were winning? Shouldn't Period Basis have already fallen?

My thoughts were cut short as the merciless red lights signaling a stratop flicked off and were replaced with the gentle green glow my dino brothers loved. I could hear reeees of delight as they donned krab claws and loaded drones into their ships. The ADMs were a hard master to please, but not many could resist the sweet nectar of bounty payouts. But there would be no pleasure in the sanctums and havens of Esoteria. They were already filled with the obese filth of our alliance, gorging themselves on site after site of Sansha ships. They lacked the fortitude and the brains to spar with the enemy; they only knew the way of the isk. Sweat and stench poured off their corpulent bodies, filling our homeland with a grotesque odor that I could no longer stand. "Damn you nullbear bastards. Were there some power strong enough to remove you from our ranks." I made my way to a docked naglfar… nullsec may be overrun by smut, but the angelic gates of C5 paradise beckoned me. The spod and scrapmetal munchers of TEST knew not the true meaning of isk, and I was content to leave them behind.

I might have made it to that nirvana, save for the voices I heard echoing down the hallway ahead. Not wishing to run into corpmates, I ducked quickly into a dark room and hid myself. They would pass by in a moment and I could be on my way. The voices drew closer; closer still; then suddenly, a handful of hooded figures slipped through the door and seated themselves in the center of the dimly light chambers. I recognized them immediately as Test High Command. Sweat dripped from my brow as I trembled in fear. Every dino knows that you never make yourself known to High Command, lest you incur their terrible and exacting wrath. We knew not exactly of what happened to those that fell on the wrong side of High Commands favor, but we all whispered about "The Forsaken".

Many a young aspiring pilot would join a fleet, confident in their abilities, only to bubble at the wrong time, fall off anchor, or miss pointing the enemy. High Command would find it fit to savagely tear into our brother. Our Holy Leaders would mock and ridicule him in front of us. As if the veracity of their shaming wasn't enough, we wouldn't see the failed pilot again for weeks, and when finally he did return, he would be hardly recognizable. His emaciated body clung to what little life he had left, striped, nearly lifeless, and forced to fly DPS to fill the fleets. His stumpy arms, rubbed bloody and raw strained feebly to press F1 over and over again. We spoke of "The Forsaken" in hushed whispers, wondering what kept them alive; perhaps it was nothing more than the thought that one day some small amount of praise would be awarded to their efforts. But we all knew that to be Forsaken was the worst fate a dino could bear; and now, I feared, my day had finally come.

"How is it we are losing this war!" Vily's usual thunderous voice sounded hollow and broken. "I have spent months giving of my mind and body to every alliance in New Eden to form the greatest coalition the universe has ever known. The largest force of ships ever assembled is at our command and day after day we lose to the enemy. Our Reddit propaganda is beyond measure. We work day and night to spin the lie of our impending victory, but here you stand telling me we are losing. Losing objectives, losing members, losing the entire war! You explain to me how exactly it is that we cannot win a single objective on our front!"

"Panfam are making great progress in Fountain, Your Eminence, they push forward daily! Surely this is a victory in itself. We can continue to tell our members that victory is being won through their efforts. Surely if you let me speak…"

"Silence Sapporo. You understand nothing of the events transpiring. We have overused the propaganda about Fountain. Any pea brained idiot in the coalition could have seen that The Initiative would pull back from Fountain to protect the homeland. We won nothing. We were practically given Fountain, and it went to those ridiculous idiots to the North. Before long, they will see our lack of progress in Period Basis and abandon this war all together. Then what will happen? I will not stand by and watch the destruction of my Empire at the hands of incompetent Imperium Leadership. I'll be damned if I bend the knee to the Mittani (PBUH) again."

"Our members are idiots, plain and simple Vily." PGL interjected with visceral contempt. "I could have won this war already but none of our members understand a single thing about how to fly a ship and listen to orders. You'd think that after years of paying Ferra and Good Sax to attack our corps, they would have learned how to actually do something, but I see I was wrong. We should just let The Imperium win so I don't have to deal with these incompetent fools anymore."

"That's enough PGL, or need I remind you that High Command has allowed you to remain in our ranks NOT because you know how to lead this alliance anymore, but that none of us can be bothered to deal with Voltron and FI.RE." The authority Creecher commanded shook me. I'd never heard anyone speak so directly to Progod before, let alone with enough fervor to placate him. "I didn't call us together to listen to complaints about our members. I understand we have idiots in our ranks, and I know we are losing members faster than we can replace them with alpha accounts. We won't be able to hide the negative recruitment slopes for much longer. Our titan and super pilots leave daily for the greener pastures of the North and lowsec, a place they can actually be useful. Even Legacy has grown to resent us. Corps no longer flock to our recruiters, begging to join. Instead, they mock us openly in front of everyone, placing their staging in an Evictus controlled system, far away from Esoteria. They pretend they don't need us and it sickens me…"

For fear of hearing too much more, I tried to slip quietly out; hoping, praying that I would not be noticed. But as I turned to leave, a hand reached out from the darkness, grabbed my neck and dragged me choking and flailing into the circle of High Command. Unimaginable pain tore through my limbs. I felt my brain begin to boil, blood poured out of my eyes and ears. I curled into a ball as my arms withered away and my testicles retreated into my body. "This is the end of me" I thought as images of every ship loss and piloting error flashed before my eyes.

"Wait!" and as suddenly as the pain began, it stopped. Dran stood over me, helping me sit upright. "We may have use of this one…"

submitted by /u/Nunan_Locs
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Sorry folks, Niarja's closed.

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 10:20 AM PDT

submitted by /u/Wade_Ambraelle
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CCPlease, let me boosh the Porpoise.

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 07:18 PM PDT

For some reason, the porpoise is not booshable, despite being a relatively small industrial ship (~4.5k tons). My guess is this is probably because it is in the same ship class as the Orca, which is (understandably) not booshable, despite being much smaller.

Would really appreciate this being changed, my mining fleet shenanigans would become a lot more interesting.

Sincerely,

Stork pilot with delusions of grandeur.

submitted by /u/DerangedOctopus
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Congrats on the biggest PVE-off in EVE's history - 36,670 faction NPCs destroyed

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 07:58 AM PDT

submitted by /u/Galileo009
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Breaking News: Niarja has Fallen, Inside scoop the spark that caused the explosion

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 11:36 AM PDT

The Source: Credible sources have provided our team with a detailed account and inside scoop of what happened within TAPI and The Imperium regarding the recent Trig invasion in Niarja.

The Find: A senior member of The Imperium's logistics team was drawing lines on his whiteboard connecting the dots of the solar systems in red sharpie indicating TAPI's logistics route. It was at this time when he realized he had changed the color of one of those solar systems on the route earlier that day to indicate a recent trig invasion. He immediately ran down the street to the local dispensary realizing this was a conversation he needed to have in person with The Mittani.

The Mittani: About 6 hours later The Mittani left The Coughy Shop with a brilliant metagame plan. He got home and logged in on his TAPI Alt that's a part of the Logistics group on discord and casually mentioned "Wouldn't it at least double the jumps of our supply line if the Niarja system turns into nullsec? He leaned back in his custom gucci chair and just smiled and watched like he had just pulled the pin and tossed a grenade, but nothing happened... The Mittani said he was used to making statements like this and within a couple minutes he would get a notification on his phone that fleets were dispatched to deal with the problem.

Vily: Vily was up late another night writing inspiring speeches filled with many hurfs and blurfs into his Diary. He was going through various alliance channels looking for material when he stumbled across a post from 8 hours earlier that had never been responded to about a trig invasion that had the potential to devastate the alliances supply route. He immediately called the 3 main members who run TAPI's logistics but nobody was answering, he then tried calling a couple other members of TAPI Leadership but no one picked up. Knowing the importance of this critical objective Vily did what Vily does best and sat down with a good Chamomile Tea, his Diary, and began writing his next speech titled "Save Niarja for Hi-sec Plebs". The speech was then pinged out to everyone in TAPI.

https://puu.sh/Gj1AN/b9cfc742d0.png

The Imperium Response: Naturally The Imperium was then instructed by The Mitanni that he may have finally stung the Dino in the testicles hard enough that The Imperium could finally get a fight with TAPI. The Imperium fleets then headed out to Niarja to destroy Edencom and fight any TAPI fleets that were sure to be mustered from Vily's passionate speech.

The TAPI Response: Unfortunately when the rest of TAPI's Leadership read the speech, they realized something that Vily hadn't, they had already submitted the necessary paperwork to Edencom and the Trigs to ally with them against the Imperium along with 100+ alliances and other special interest groups. So naturally because both Edencom and the Trigs are a part of what is being called "The Blue Donut" TAPI was instructed to stand down, at which point nobody expressed surprise.

The Conclusion: Niarja is now permanently 0.0 and TAPI's logistics route has been crippled which will lead to increased doctrine prices and lower supply, but just remember everyone. Vily truly wished he could save all you plebs in hi-sec, and he's sorry bureaucratic blue tape stopped him this time.

It was also requested that I include the following message "Please remember to Vote Vily for CSM, he has everyone in hi-sec's best interest at heart, and when you really need him he will be there if he is there."

This satirical piece was brought to you by _Satire_StEve_

submitted by /u/_Satire_StEve_
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How to fix Zkillboard

Posted: 18 Aug 2020 03:16 PM PDT

Quick and dirty fix I made to make Zkillboard usable with ad-blockers again without having to resort to disabling Javascript.

Get greasemonkey for Firefox or Tampermonkey for Chrome.

Add the following script which will block the annoyAdBlockers function without messing with other functionality (click on the extention and add new script or Google how to add script with greasemonkey/tampermonkey if you can't figure it out)

// ==UserScript== // @name Zkill Anti-Adblock // @namespace http://zkillboard.com // @include *zkillboard.com/* // @run-at document-start // @grant GM_addStyle // ==/UserScript== /*- The @grant directive is needed to work around a design change introduced in GM 1.0. It restores the sandbox. */ function GM_main () { window.addEventListener ("DOMContentLoaded", function() { annoyAdBlockers = function() {}; console.log ("Disabled annoyAdBlockers function!"); }, false); } addJS_Node (null, null, GM_main); function addJS_Node (text, s_URL, funcToRun, runOnLoad) { var D = document; var scriptNode = D.createElement ('script'); if (runOnLoad) { scriptNode.addEventListener ("load", runOnLoad, false); } scriptNode.type = "text/javascript"; if (text) scriptNode.textContent = text; if (s_URL) scriptNode.src = s_URL; if (funcToRun) scriptNode.textContent = '(' + funcToRun.toString() + ')()'; var targ = D.getElementsByTagName ('head')[0] || D.body || D.documentElement; targ.appendChild (scriptNode); }

Option 2 (thanks to Luk Tsero):
Add the following to your adblocker: